Okay, well after I just spent 20 minnutes deleting all my old journal entries w/ the exception of one I decided an update was in order.
Be prepared for a long entry.
Why the sudden deletion of all lj entries? "Journal drama is just too much" and all though there was no drama on this journal, there was on my xanga and I figured that if I'm starting out fresh and new on that one, then why not on this one?
In response to some of the drama going on lately it made me think about things. I've realized lately how much things have changed this year. I really miss the times I spent w/ Natalie, Alayna and all the b/g's ;) in the beginning of the year, around fall m/b and homecoming. I miss the time when my Dad actaully spoke to me, when Erika and I were friends, when I had completely gotten over everything that had happened last year, when I woke up on time, when I was responsible and turned in all of my work, when I hadn't missed any days at my dance studio, when Lauren and I were good friends, when I didn't have enemies, and when as Stephanie says I came in everyday in a good mood and didn't let anything bother me. What happened?
It seems as though ever since I got in the big fight w/ Alayna over spring break things have sort of gone in a downward spiral. Maybe even before that? Around the time of the musical I guess. When things just got so hectic that no one including myself could take it anymore. When I periodically stopped hanging out w/ one group of friends and started hanging out at another. Things really started to change the nite we all went to a show at the Recher awhile ago and I got a unaccepted message from someone I had completely forgotten about. Things were going perfect for awhile and now everything has sort of spiraled out of control...I guess it's just b/c it's the end of the year.
There is always drama/fighting and such at the end of the year, when everything just comes out. People don't want to leave on bad terms but somehow end up making things worse? It happens every year. Everyone's emotions sort of just come out. And who doesn't want a little drama in their lives?
Things have just changed so much this year, I have changed so much this year. Never in one year have I had so much drama and honestly never before have I gossiped so much, but that is to be expected when you hang out w/ certain people: And yes there is a difference between gossiping and just blantly talking about someone behind their back.
I miss the old me, I liked it when I was happy and always in a good mood, and didn't have enemies, and I'm going to do my best to go back to being that way by the end of this school year.
This year has just flown by. When I look back on all that's happened it just seems to amaze me.
All I can hope for and all that I can say is that I really do hope that I don't part w/ any seniors on bad terms, that everything can just be sorted out by the end of this school year, I hope that summer goes well, for everyone not just myself, and most of all I hope that I can start senior year off drama free and on good terms w/ everyone.